Well, today is "Gotcha Day". Gotcha Day is a birthday of sorts in the adoption world, marking the one year anniversary from the time that Parker and Xander were delivered to our hotel room in Nanchang, China. In some ways, it feels like just yesterday that we were there sitting there in our makeshift hotel waiting room nervously anticipating their arrival. At the time, I remember being struck by how similar the whole process felt to the birth of Andersen and Paige. As a father, all you can do is sit there helplessly waiting for this unknown package to arrive and change your life forever. I think Andrea and the kids got a taste of this, too. It's a very surreal moment that you never forget.
For Parker and Xander, I can only speculate what it must have felt like. For Parker, who was delivered first, I think it might have felt a little bit like being taken from the womb again - his cries were very much of the "put me back in" variety. I'm sure it was terrifying. One of the workers that he was very attached to (a mother of sorts) handed him off to us in a very final kind of way, and I think he picked up on that immediately. I'm not sure, but I would imagine he hadn't seen anyone that looked like us before. We might as well have been aliens. He was, quite frankly, terrified.
Xander arrived about 20 minutes later, and true to form, he just went with the flow. It takes a lot of confidence to be yourself when you're wearing a pink outfit with a poodle on it, but Xander managed to pull the whole thing off. The thing you have to know about Xander is that he missed the "Stranger Danger" after school special, so he's pretty easy going with most anyone. Within moments, he was smiling and giggling with Andersen and Paige - a sign of things to come. I think this helped soothe Parker a bit. Kind of like a "Well, if that other kid thinks they're alright, maybe they're not all bad" sort of thing.
One of the challenges we faced that day was that we had to immediately go and fill out mounds of paperwork with various governmant organizations. So, unfortunately, we didn't really have the option of taking things slow. In retrospect, this is perhaps the best way to be introduced into the craziness that is the Wood family - the less time you have to think about it, the better. So, we gave the boys a bath, put on some less girly clothes, and took off for a day full of tours through government offices.
Safety concerns aside, one of the nice things about driving around in China is that the whole car seat rule is pretty much non-existent. So, we were able to snuggle in with Parker and Xander and try to develop a rapport with them as we drove around Nanchang. We've been told that bonding at this stage is pretty primitive, and that it's very common for children to randomly grasp onto one parent and keep to them like a security blanket. This was very much the case for Parker and Xander, with Parker clinging to me and Xander to Andrea. From here, it was all about baby steps. We made silly faces (and noises), played games, and did what we could to make them feel at home. Andersen and Paige were hugely instrumental here. Every parent likes to brag on their children, but we were astounded at the love and generosity Andersen and Paige showed Parker and Xander. Imagine sitting in government offices in Houston in August without A/C - that's what we were up against. And never once did they complain or ask if it was time to leave. The got down on the floor and invited their brothers to play games, have snacks, and just be silly. I really think that made Parker and Xander feel more comfortable that day. That and all the watermelon slices Xander conned the ladies at the offices to give them.
It built from there. To be honest, the rest of our time in China was stressful though. Parker mourned for the ladies at the orphanage, Xander broke out with a rash and felt awful, and Andrea came down with something that made her as sick as I've ever seen her. Somewhere in the middle of all that, we managed to complete the adoption process, see some Pandas, say goodbye to the best dog we ever had, and celebrate Xander's first birthday before heading back home.
When we got home, it took a little while for the boys to settle in. I think the time change was hard, and they both had some minor illnesses which made them feel pretty awful. For a while, we thought Xander would never sleep again. Still, they adapted remarkably well all things considered - far better than I think I would. I think this tells a lot about their character. One day Parker was terrified of our monstrous great dane (Kirby), the next day he's spoon feeding her mashed potatoes at the dinner table. That's just the way it went. It was fascinating seeing them take in things for the first time - there was a lot to take in. Not too long after that Xander started walking and he basically hasn't stopped walking yet. He would just go outside and follow Kirby around the yard and explore.
Christmastime felt like another major milestone since it was around that time that both of the boys really seemed to sort of settle in and not cling to just one of us. Around this same time, we met with the doctors at Scottish Rite hospital and began planning out Parker's surgery. Andrea and I both were very afraid of what this might do to the progress Parker had made. Curiously though, I think the surgery only helped to strengthen our bond with him. Up to this point, Parker was terrified of strangers and new situations. For whatever reason though, this experience was different. He was an absolute celebrity at the hospital, with people all over the hospital coming by to meet him. He really embraced his surgeon and the wonderful nurses there. He was definitely scared (you should have seen the death grip he gave me when he came to), but his bravery was very commendable. More than the pain or anything else, I think he mourned the loss of the foot. He absolutely didn't want to see it under any circumstances.
A short while later, we were back at Scottish Rite getting fitted for his prosthesis. Going back there was scary, but he persevered and discovered walking for the first time. I think this will go down as one of the coolest things I'll ever see. It's not hyperbole to say that this absolutely changed his life. He's been a totally different kid after he learned how to walk. All of a sudden, he would go up to people and hand out hugs just because. He LOVES to walk. By Memorial Day, we were a family on the move, enjoying a nice restful weekend with friends and family in Salado. We took the boys to their first movie and enjoyed? some time in the pool.
This summer, both of the boys have really enjoyed having Andersen and Paige home from school. I'll come downstairs from the office after work and find them playing in Paige's room, or in one of the many indoor tents they've built in the living room this summer. Xander worships the floor Andersen walks on, so they've had a good time playing with action figures and playsets Andersen sets up for him. Paige has been good to read to them, and they often just pile up on the couch together reading or watching Ni Hao Kai Lan, etc.
Somewhere in the middle of all this, we've morphed into a family of 6. Andrea and I have talked a lot recently about this milestone and what it means. Overall, I think we are overcome with a sense of gratitude. We're so thankful that these two awesome boys came into our lives. We're thankful for the kindness shown to us from friends, family, and even strangers. We've all been showered with love, and it's been very overwhelming at times. Indeed, if you're reading this, please know how much you've meant to us in our journey. It's kind of like in the movies where they do the "one year later" flash forward and you see everyone at the table laughing and enjoying their happily ever after. This is ours, and we're glad that you were a part of it.
