Hello Wazowski

Well, another week's gone by and there's not a whole lot to report on the adoption front. Unfortunately, we're sort of in that hurry up and wait stage...

One piece of positive news was that we were able to inch a little bit further in our I-800A application process as Andrea and I were able to get fingerprinted by the USCIS department last Friday. This was a little ahead of schedule mostly due to sheer persistence on Andrea's part. We basically just walked in and told them we'd wait as long as necessary to get it done. Luckily, there wasn't a huge backlog of applicants, so we were probably in and out in an hour.

However, lest anyone begin shouting "USA, USA, USA!!!", allow me to rant a bit about the surliness we encountered from our processing agent. As we walked in, Andrea presented our paperwork and the lady asked us to have our IDs ready. When I pulled mine out, she advised me in no uncertain terms that she wasn't talking to me and that I should go have a seat. Then, they proceeded to fingerprint Andrea and then make me wait for roughly 30 minutes while the lady who actually took the fingerprints looked at her watch and stared into space. At one point, when asked who's next, our processing agent just shrugged and issued the most subtle of mehs. Below is an artist's rendering of our processing agent so that you can get a picture of what we were dealing with.

Anyway, at this point, the ball's in the USCIS department's court, so let's hope that they have somebody who has some sense of urgency. Once that's done, we'll be about halfway through the process which is outlined here. So, in the meantime, we wait.

Post By: James

Seeing is Believing!!!

Well, today was a watershed moment in the life of our family: we got to see video footage of our son Xin Lei for the very first time! Though we're not yet allowed to share this footage with the general public, we can confirm that he is adorable. The footage was short, but we were able to see him pulling up on a bar and showing off some tremendous mobility skills. The following is a re-enactment of what we were able to observe for ourselves:




It's truly amazing what 26 seconds of video footage can do to make all this sink in. It really had a profound effect on both of us. Andrea called me at work overwhelmed with tears of joy. And I looked at the video footage and just thought to myself, "That's our son." As an added bonus, the orphanage provided us with some additional Q&A kind of stuff about Xin Lei (two words we found out instead of one):

1. What is Xin Lei's temperament/personality?
   He is sensible and sweet. He has mild personality.
2. Does he prefer to play with friends or by himself?
   He sometimes plays by himself, sometimes he plays with the other kids. He likes Hong Yuan Qian the best.
3. What does he enjoy doing?
   He likes to play games with the other children or the nannies. He likes reading picture books recently.
4. What makes him sad?
   He could be scared when there is suddenly a big noise. He doesn’t like people to talk in loud voice. He doesn’t like to be held by strangers. (Andrea's completely screwed here on the loud voice thing. :-))
5. What calms him when he's upset?
   Usually we would hold him, pad (pat) him, then he could be calmed down.
6. What makes him smile?
   He laughs when we play games with him. His favorite game is peek-a-boo now. And he smiles when he listens to music.
7. What kind of toys are his favorite?
   His favorite toy is blocks, and toy piano. (Paige is already excited to share her floor piano with him.)
8. Is he a good sleeper?
   He sleeps well through the night. (Let's see how he does with two gassy dogs and old crotchety cats.)
9. What does he way and how long is he?
   Weight 8kg (18 lbs) Height 76cm (30 in long) Head circumference 44cm Chest circumference 46cm Teeth 4 on the top, 2 on the bottom.
10. We like the name Xinlei, is there any special reason he was given this name?
    Hong stands for Nanchang city which used to be named HongCheng. Xin means he was found in Xinjian county, Lei means bright and open.

Overall, he seems like a healthy, well adjusted, and likeable kid. And I'm gonna go out on a limb and toss out awesome as another adjective here for good measure. It seems like he's in a pretty good orphanage, so we're very thankful for that. It's great to know there are so many good people out there. Now if they'd just let us take it from here, that would be great.

Post By: James

Parenthood: It's not a job, it's a doodie

Since we've begun this process, many people have asked us why in the world would we want to start over with another baby. The screaming, the crying...the diapers. It all starts over again. So what are we thinking? Well, we'd be lying if we didn't say that we haven't wondered many of these things to ourselves from time to time. Indeed, just last Saturday I was curled up on the couch watching TV uninterrupted for almost 3 hours, and it was everything I dreamed it could be. And God knows that Andrea and I hold dear any alone time we can manage to scrounge up.

Still, in the end, isn't all this a good kind of busy? As I've watched our older parent friends see their kids go off to college and beyond, it has really sunk in just how short a time we have with our children. Our older son Andersen just turned 9, and all I can wonder about is when the heck that happened, and how in the world can I slow time down. If he ends up leaving the house at 18, that means we've already reached the halfway point and I can barely stand the thought of it. The same thing goes for Paige. It's all speeding by too fast.

Of course, this is not to say that we're adopting because we want to prolong the time we have at home with our kids. Rather, I think having our own kids has made us appreciate just what a tremendous gift it is to get to be a parent, and we haven't gotten our fill of it just yet. It's a strange phenomenon in a way. Right before Andersen was born, I remember thinking to myself that it was strange that I didn't feel much connection to this child we were bringing into the world. And then bam, here he is and all of a sudden, I feel as deep a connection as I've ever felt with another human being. Same thing with Paige. Personally, I think this has very little to do with genetics. There is just a fundamental bond that gets forged between a parent and a child that changes your life forever.

Naturally, it goes without saying that taking this on means that we're about to give up a lot of things and take on yet more responsibility. But, at the end of the day, it's all worth it. We know that when we reach the end of our days, we'll look back on all this fondly and forget about the sleepless nights and poopy diapers. Instead, we'll remember the joy our children have brought to our lives. Whenever we have bad days, nothing cheers us up like our kids do. A smile, a hug, a zerbert; it's all good stuff. So if that means we have to sling a few diapers around along the way, we're game. In the meantime, I'm going to sign off and go watch television in my underwear while I still can.

Post By: James

I always wanted a brother!!!

So today we reached a fairly significant milestone in the adoption process when our adoption agency mailed our completed home study to the USCIS. This is exciting since processing within the Homeland Security department is one of the long pulls in the overall process...

In the meantime, we thought it would be kind of interesting in a time capsule sort of way to capture the essence of what our kids think about all this. We're a pretty open family, so the kids have been involved in this process from the beginning. They are both super excited about all this. In fact, when we first told them we were looking to adopt a little boy, Paige immediately exclaimed, "Yes!!! I've always wanted a brother!!!". We're going to choose to believe that she meant younger brother there for Andersen's sake.

As parents, it's very rewarding to see your children open up their hearts as Andersen and Paige have to this process. You can tell that they think about Xinlei a lot from the way they talk and ask questions. Early on, both of them were worried about how he might be treated at school, etc. Without even meeting him, they have both taken on the big brother/big sister role and are ready to open up a can of whoop arse on anybody who mistreats him. Paige is also preparing for him to share her room when he arrives here in the States.

As we've progressed throughout the process, we've wondered if reality/apathy might set in after a while; but so far, it hasn't. At this point, they are well aware of the fact that he will probably scream a lot when we first get him and that he may not like us right off the bat. Plus, they have seen how having a young child at home impacts the life of their friends at school (i.e. harder to go to the movies, vacations, dinner, etc.). We were both particularly surprised at how they didn't even bat an eye at the prospects of having a smaller Christmas since money might be a little tighter than usual.

This is the great thing about kids. They are genuinely excited about bringing him into our lives. When a friend asked Paige why we were adopting, she responded by saying: "Because we want him to be special, and we don't want him to not have a family. People in orphanages are supposed to get a family. We're lucky that we get to have him". Now you might say that's a pretty darn good Sunday School answer, but trust us when we say that her/their words are genuine and thoughtful. Since this process has began, they're always on the lookout for things he might need. Yesterday, we ventured out and looked for one of those Baby Gund Comfy Cozy blankets that the kids had whenever they were babies. They're very adamant that he has one, and not just any one, the perfect one. They've also been quite helpful in finding everyday items such as a diaper rash powder called "Baby Anti-Monkey Butt" (see below).

Andersen is already concerned with Xinlei's comfort.

Of course, the kids have also been helpful in other ways. Around our anniversary, Paige was informing me of how Xinlei could be useful in getting romance with Mommy. Basically, she said that in order to get romance, I should dance with Mommy, take Mommy to dinner, and then surprise Mommy by going to get our baby (during the night?). Since we had to wait it out for Xinlei, I didn't get any romance that night, but I like where her head's at and I'm pretty sure there will be lots of romance in my future whenever we get the new baby home...so I've got that going for me, which is nice.

Paige is lovingly trying out strollers for Xinlei.

Overall, one the many blessings in this process is the opportunity for all of us to open our hearts and realize that there's so much more to family than just a name or a house that we live in. So many well-meaning people tell us that "ah, you're such a saint for doing this" or "I could never do that", but the reality is that this will most likely touch us far more than it will Xinlei. Our family simply isn't complete without him. Just thinking about all this has brought us all closer together: Andrea and I, the kids, all of us. These are the lessons we learn from children if only we'll open our eyes and see what they see.

Post By: James

One step closer....

Today was a biggish milestone in our adoption process, we received our completed home study!!  We started this process in December before we found Xinlei and today that process is complete which means we are ready to move on to the first "real" step.

Our wonderful social worker, Rebecca, called us today about 4:15 and said she just received the completed home study and it was ready to be mailed to our agency.  Rebecca has been amazing to work with because it seems like she feels the same urgency as we do to keep this process moving forward and today was no exception.  She said she had to take her kids to gymnastics but I was welcome to come meet them and pick up my home study if I wanted to get it sent out today...which OF COURSE I did!!  So I raced to Arlington to get the home study, added the paperwork I had and then hurried back to Fed Ex to overnight it to our Adoption Agency.  It should arrive in Colorado tomorrow morning and they will package it will the rest of our information and then mail it to the USCIS which is a fancy way of saying US Immigration :-)  The approval process is generally about 3 months from start to finish so we are ready to get this phase started!

This is my new friend Ian at Fed Ex, I think he should be employee of the month!!

Post By: Andrea