In the meantime, we thought it would be kind of interesting in a time capsule sort of way to capture the essence of what our kids think about all this. We're a pretty open family, so the kids have been involved in this process from the beginning. They are both super excited about all this. In fact, when we first told them we were looking to adopt a little boy, Paige immediately exclaimed, "Yes!!! I've always wanted a brother!!!". We're going to choose to believe that she meant younger brother there for Andersen's sake.
As parents, it's very rewarding to see your children open up their hearts as Andersen and Paige have to this process. You can tell that they think about Xinlei a lot from the way they talk and ask questions. Early on, both of them were worried about how he might be treated at school, etc. Without even meeting him, they have both taken on the big brother/big sister role and are ready to open up a can of whoop arse on anybody who mistreats him. Paige is also preparing for him to share her room when he arrives here in the States.
As we've progressed throughout the process, we've wondered if reality/apathy might set in after a while; but so far, it hasn't. At this point, they are well aware of the fact that he will probably scream a lot when we first get him and that he may not like us right off the bat. Plus, they have seen how having a young child at home impacts the life of their friends at school (i.e. harder to go to the movies, vacations, dinner, etc.). We were both particularly surprised at how they didn't even bat an eye at the prospects of having a smaller Christmas since money might be a little tighter than usual.
This is the great thing about kids. They are genuinely excited about bringing him into our lives. When a friend asked Paige why we were adopting, she responded by saying: "Because we want him to be special, and we don't want him to not have a family. People in orphanages are supposed to get a family. We're lucky that we get to have him". Now you might say that's a pretty darn good Sunday School answer, but trust us when we say that her/their words are genuine and thoughtful. Since this process has began, they're always on the lookout for things he might need. Yesterday, we ventured out and looked for one of those Baby Gund Comfy Cozy blankets that the kids had whenever they were babies. They're very adamant that he has one, and not just any one, the perfect one. They've also been quite helpful in finding everyday items such as a diaper rash powder called "Baby Anti-Monkey Butt" (see below).
Andersen is already concerned with Xinlei's comfort.
Of course, the kids have also been helpful in other ways. Around our anniversary, Paige was informing me of how Xinlei could be useful in getting romance with Mommy. Basically, she said that in order to get romance, I should dance with Mommy, take Mommy to dinner, and then surprise Mommy by going to get our baby (during the night?). Since we had to wait it out for Xinlei, I didn't get any romance that night, but I like where her head's at and I'm pretty sure there will be lots of romance in my future whenever we get the new baby home...so I've got that going for me, which is nice.
Paige is lovingly trying out strollers for Xinlei.
Overall, one the many blessings in this process is the opportunity for all of us to open our hearts and realize that there's so much more to family than just a name or a house that we live in. So many well-meaning people tell us that "ah, you're such a saint for doing this" or "I could never do that", but the reality is that this will most likely touch us far more than it will Xinlei. Our family simply isn't complete without him. Just thinking about all this has brought us all closer together: Andrea and I, the kids, all of us. These are the lessons we learn from children if only we'll open our eyes and see what they see.
Post By: James
Can hardly wait to welcome our fourth grandchild! He will be a precious addition to the family.
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